


More Than Skin Deep

by Lillybe_Forest



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Alpha Zack Fair, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cloud Strife Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, M/M, Omega Cloud Strife, The gang looks out of Cloud in their own way, kind of, not going to tag the others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillybe_Forest/pseuds/Lillybe_Forest
Summary: When they looked at Cloud they could all tell in their own ways that something wasn't 'right' about him; not as an omega, not in his lack of scent and there definitely was something going on with his inflamed mating mark.Who was he even mated to?
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough & Cloud Strife, Cid Highwind & Cloud Strife, Cloud Strife & Barret Wallace, Cloud Strife & Vincent Valentine, Red XIII | Nanaki & Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife, Yuffie Kisaragi & Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 28
Kudos: 518





	More Than Skin Deep

It wasn’t obvious straight away. Tifa was just happy to see Cloud that she didn’t think to examine him in any way or ask him any hard questions about his life until they met again, if he wanted to talk about it he would and she wouldn’t pry. That was until she walked in on Cloud as he was changing and saw the mark on his skin at the join between neck and shoulder. It was a mating mark. The scar looked angry, red and raised, but the teeth indents were perfect in shape and didn’t look as though they were done viscously. Tifa had seen a lot of different mating marks in the slums, including ones that were practically ripped into the omega. It was awful, but she hadn’t noticed any like Cloud’s.

“Cloud,” she said softly, he turned to her, stopping in putting his top on. “Who are they?”

“They?” Cloud asked, frowning at her in confusion.

“Your mate.” She pointed to her own neck to demonstrate what she meant.

Cloud looked at her neck, she pointed to his own to try urging him to look at himself. Still confused he went to the mirror, peering into it at his own neck. His eyes widened; he brushed his fingers against the mark.

“I don’t know,” Cloud said softly, then more firmly, “I don’t have a mate.”

“You… _don’t_?” Tifa came up behind him. That was definitely a mating mark. She took a deep breath, scenting him. He didn’t smell like the omega she knew he was; he didn’t smell like anything at all. He should have, it had been so obvious when they were younger but now it was gone. A mated omega’s scent was always softer as it wasn’t calling out for an alpha anymore, but it should still have been there. Cloud’s just wasn’t there.

He stood up straight and pulled his top on. “I’m going out.” He snapped on his harness then swung his sword onto his back. “Bye.”

Tifa stared after him, not understanding what had happened to him. There were so many things she didn’t understand about Cloud now, this was just another mystery. One she didn’t think Cloud even understood from his reaction. She took a deep breath. She hoped Cloud would be okay.

-

It was obvious just looking at Cloud that he was an omega, he was strong but he was soft in the ways most omegas were. He was also extremely anti-social and rude, looking at him sometimes made Barret want to punch him in his pretty face, he was so irritating. Over time, as he got to know him better, that feeling waned but Barret would sometimes still want to push him over for being a brat. Not that he gave into that feeling but it was there. Cloud was such a little brat.

It took some time for Barret to figure out what was wrong with Cloud. He was an alpha but felt no pull towards him, having already been mated he didn’t ever have strong reactions towards omegas so he just put it down to that at first. Then he doubted himself. Maybe Cloud was a beta, that would explain the lack of pull to protect him, though not the aggression towards him. But again, Cloud was a brat. So maybe an annoying beta.

Still, Barret was pretty sure his first assumption was right. He kept an eye on Cloud, trying to see if he could tell from mannerisms if he was an omega or a beta, how he reacted to certain situations should give it away. He was all over the place though, sometimes he even acted like an aggressive alpha. There was no pinning him down.

So the best idea was to just ask him, which he could have done before but they weren’t that close and honestly, he knew it was none of his business. Though it might affect him if Cloud were to go into heat when he was around, that’d be a _disaster_.

“What are you anyway?” Barret asked, Cloud looked over at him, opening his mouth, but before he could speak Barret cut him off. “I know you’re a SOLDIER first class, I mean are you an omega or what?”

That made Cloud pause, he looked off to the side, staring at nothing at all. It was a long time before he answered. “I’m an omega.” The words sounded hard to get out for some odd reason, as though they had to be forced through his teeth.

Barret eyed him, something was definitely going on there, but he wouldn’t pry. “I’m an alpha,” he said, as though it wasn’t completely obvious.

“I know.” Cloud crossed his arms in front of him, there was that aggression again. “So?”

“Just saying.” Barret shrugged a shoulder at him. “Best to keep away at times.”

Cloud looked confused, his frown turning slightly pouty, eyebrows drawn in. “Why?”

“Well…” Barret rubbed at his neck. “Just… because. I don’t want to hurt you or something,”

“You can’t hurt me.” Now he was just being cocky.

Even being unintimidated by alphas could only go so far. Everyone knew an angry alpha, one going into rut, or being protective could hurt anyone and anything. Usually omegas were terrified of that, even ones who were friends. A lot of them avoided Barret because of his stature, it was a bit nice to know one who wasn’t scared of him in any way. Foolish but nice.

“Just be careful, Spikey.” Barret waved a hand at him before going back to his crew. He’d watch out for when Cloud was in heat and when he was in rut, that was the best way to do it as apparently Cloud knew no fear.

-

Aerith knew immediately something wasn’t right about Cloud. Even without the Planet’s voice in her ears she could see from Cloud’s eyes that he wasn’t okay. She decided to be there for him as soon as she felt the sadness coming off of him in waves. When she saw his mating mark she gasped, he was wearing a dress and she could see the angry red marks on his skin. They looked raw and painful but from the scars it was obviously from a long time ago.

“Oh, Cloud,” she said softly, reaching out to him.

Immediately he drew back, eyeing her hand wary of any movement. He shifted uncomfortably, then looked down, fiddling with the dress as though that were the reason she was going to touch him.

“What is it?” he asked. “Am I wearing it wrong?”

Aerith shook her head. “No Cloud, you look very cute.”

“I’m not cute,” he grumbled, pouting at the ground. Very cute.

Aerith smiled at him, shaking her head. “If you say so.” She eyed the mark still. There was something odd about it, she had seen marks before but none that were so inflamed when they were old. “Cloud,” she said gently, “can I see your mark?”

“My mark?” Cloud’s hand went up to his neck, touching it lightly then he nodded. “Okay.”

She stepped up to him, watching him to make sure he didn’t flinch when her fingers grazed along his skin. A flash of green obscured her vision as she stumbled back, her entire arm tingled as though she had been hit with a thunder spell.

“Aerith?” Cloud reached out, steadying her gently.

The tingled faded but the green wouldn’t leave. It was at the edges of her vision, she looked up at Cloud and swore for a second his eyes were no longer bright blue but a deep green. She shook her head, blinking rapidly, when she could focus again they were back to blue. It was probably her imagination.

  
“I’m okay.” She got her feet back under her and tried to smile at him, though from his face she didn’t think it was convincing. “Honestly, I’m just fine.” He didn’t look convinced but stepped back again, rubbing his neck. “Does it hurt?”

“I’m used to pain.”

That wasn’t comforting. Aerith didn’t press him, the poor boy looked upset enough and she didn’t want to be the cause of more pain for him. “I’m here if you need to talk,” she offered.

Cloud shrugged a shoulder at her. “Let’s go.”

She would look out for him whilst she could. She sent a prayer to the Planet, Cloud could use all the protection he could get, it didn’t seem as though he looked after himself very well. Not if he was in pain so often that he didn’t care about it. Whoever his mate was should have been there for him, she wondered why they weren’t. Hopefully Cloud would be okay without them.

-

Red XIII smelt something strange from Cloud. He noticed it immediately but didn’t think more of it until they were out of Midgar and resting in Kalm. They were alone in the small inn room when he got another whiff of him. The scent stung his nose, like blood and smoke. It could just have been from the aftermath of their escape but even after he showered it was still there. 

He didn’t pretend to completely understand humans but he knew something didn’t smell right with Cloud. There was a strangeness about the man anyway, so he supposed that was another factor of it. Instead of talking to Cloud about what he smelt he decided to observe, he would offer him assistance if he were to need it as well.

“If you need to speak to someone, I am available,” he told Cloud one night when they were on the road.

Cloud just looked at him and nodded. “I appreciate the offer.”

Yes, he would be there to talk if Cloud needed it. For now he was content to let the man be. Not everything was as simple as it appeared.

-

“Hey, how do you get rid of your scent like that?” Yuffie asked, getting right up into Cloud’s face, he reeled back. Honestly, he should stop being so moody all of the time. The only way to get him to talk was to corner him, then he acted so surprised about it.

Cloud did that strange darty eye thing he did sometimes around her. So weird. “What do you mean?”

Yuffie huffed, hands going to her hips. “Your scent. I can’t smell you at all. How do you hide it?”

“I… don’t…” Cloud stepped back; he was obviously trying to escape without telling her his secrets.

“Come on! Just tell me!” Yuffie stomped her foot, she would get what he wanted out of him. He can’t escape the Great Ninja Yuffie. “I’m a beta which is good for sneaking but strong alphas can still smell me. I need to know how to be scentless!”

“I’m scentless?” Cloud asked, as though it wasn’t obvious. “I didn’t know that.”

“Duh!” Yuffie crossed her arms, watching him intently. “Gee, you are a weird one, Cloud. You seriously don’t know?”

Cloud nodded, his hand going up to rub his neck, leaving it there for some reason. So weird.

“What about when you’re in heat?” She asked, he was bound to smell then. Alphas would be _all over_ Cloud just from his looks, she’d think he’d smell good too.

At that Cloud stepped back again, he really was just trying to escape the whole time. “I don’t.”

“You still don’t smell during it?” she pressed, he never spoke clearly enough for her liking.

“I don’t have heats.”

Yuffie balked at that. “What?” An omega without heats? “What’s even the point of being an omega then!”

Cloud began to look uncomfortable, making Aerith head towards them, she always liked ruining her fun. There was always talk about ‘moderation’ and ‘personal space,’ which was ridiculous, Yuffie knew what she was doing.

“I don’t think there’s a _point_ of being one exactly,” Cloud said, rubbing his neck again. “I just am one biologically, I also don’t have heats any longer.”

“Did you used to?” She asked, stepping closer again and peering up into his face curiously. He really was weird if he stopped having them for some reason, even mated omegas had heats, though she’d heard they lessened with time. Or after a few children popped out.

Cloud tried to get away, leaning far back from her. “Yes.”

“You’re so weird,” Yuffie sighed, moving back from him as Aerith reached them.

“You shouldn’t call people weird,” Aerith scolded her like she was her mum or something. “Cloud’s biology is different than others, he’s enhanced remember.”

“Oh yeah!” Yuffie snapped her fingers together. “It must be the mako. Shinra really do mess with you. I thought it was weird that they’d have an omega SOLDIER, makes sense if they can basically get rid of it.” She huffed at Cloud, honestly it wasn’t a big secret then. “You could have just told me that to start with.”

Shaking her head she walked away, if it was some Shinra science then she wasn’t interested in it. She was a great ninja without any of that. Cloud was so _weird_ though.

-

Reeve found it very peculiar how Avalanche acted in general, they were a makeshift band and he was bemused by them most of the time. They were useful and kind-hearted; they were a lot better than any of the executives at Shinra. He wished he could help them more but he was limited in what he could do. It felt good to be a part of their group, their pack almost, even though it was through his inventions.

What he found unusual was their dynamic. He was a beta so he didn’t quite understand the interactions between alphas and omegas but he had seen a lot of them in his time working for Shinra and Avalanche definitely seemed abnormal. From the files he had read for each member and from his own observations he was sure that Barrat and Tifa were alphas yet they deferred to Cloud who was most definitely an omega. Reeve pulled up Cloud Strife’s file again, his medical records stated it clearly enough, then again they also listed him as a dead infantryman.

All of them saw Cloud as their leader which was fair enough, from Reeve’s own observations he was a good leader but he was still an omega. He’d never seen an omega in charge of a pack before, it was interesting. Though in general Cloud was a bit strange. They were all happy together, so he must act how they needed to him as their leader.

Honestly, they all seemed to work together much better than any other pack Reeve had seen. Maybe having an omega as the leader was the right way to go about it. Not that he’d ever suggest that to anyone in Shinra, he’d be eaten alive.

He was content with watching them and he started an observation diary of their dynamic, just in case he got the chance to be a part of his own pack. When they found out he was part of Shinra he had no doubt they’d kick him out of theirs, well Cait Sith they’d kick out. Reeve was not a part of it, after all. It was lonely but he was doing what he had to.

-

The scent of death lingered around Cloud Strife. Vincent could smell it as soon as they met, it riled up the demons inside him. It was both new and old death at once which was in itself a paradox. Upon closer inspection Vincent could tell it emanated from the angry bond mark Cloud had. It was fascinating to see how it changed, always red and inflamed but to different degrees of severity. The mark must be painful to carry. Broken bonds always were.

“What?” Cloud asked over his shoulder, pulling on a clean top to sleep in for the night. Vincent stood in the corner of the room, observing his companion. Barret and Red XIII were down in the bar with the women, Cloud had been there until not too long ago whilst Vincent had holed up in their room.

“Your bond,” Vincent said solemnly, “it must be a painful burden.”

Cloud went to sit on a bed, hands between his knees. “It is,” he said, “but I don’t remember it.”

“You can’t remember who you’re bonded to?” Vincent asked, watching as Cloud bowed his head. “That would hurt all the more.”

There was no response from Cloud who took to silence much as Vincent did. It was an escape and allowed one to think of their own problems without the pressure of words. Cloud was much like him which was sad in itself. Not every demon had a name, the ones inside them were different but Vincent could smell the pain coming off of him as clearly as he felt his own.

“Do you know why it looks like it does?” Cloud asked after a lengthy pause.

Vincent looked him over, eyes lingering on the red he could just see over the edge of Cloud’s top. Did he know? No, not really. He had guesses, ideas as to what could cause it but he didn’t have facts.

“There could be any number of reasons. A bond is different for everyone. A broken one more so. I can tell you something that may distress you,” Vincent looked at Cloud for an indication to stop speaking, there was none. “What I can smell from you is death. Your bond is dying.”

“Death?” Cloud rubbed at the mark, no doubt making it more painful with his touch. “My mate is dead?”

“Most likely.” Vincent bowed his head in apology for giving the news but Cloud didn’t react badly, he looked more annoyed than anything else. “However if the other party is dead the bond should settle, yours is not. It is still in the process of dying. It smells of fresh blood and rotting flesh. Something is trying to kill it and has been for a long time.”

“That makes little sense,” Cloud sighed, hand falling away.

That was true enough, Vincent never said his words made sense. “I can only tell you what I smell. The demons don’t like it any more than I do. There is something unnatural coming from it.”

Cloud nodded slowly. “Thank you for telling me.”

Vincent inclined his head in acceptance. He wished there was more he could say, something to help the young man who looked as though he had the world on his shoulders and it was slowly beginning to crush him. Cloud was a nice enough person. Life didn’t choose only those with deep sins to punish. All he could do was watch over him and offer what little solace he could.

-

Cid was not interested in any of their nonsense, he didn’t care what kind of internal struggles the were having, so long as it didn’t cause problems he was willing to let it slide. However, there were things he didn’t like, for instance, he didn’t like seeing alphas try to intimidate or take over just because they were supposedly the big strong protectors. In his opinion that was all a load of rot.

No one on his watch would act superior just because of a stupid biological thing that held next to no importance practically. He kept an eye out among the rag-tag group of ecoterrorists to make sure no one stepped out of line because of that. It took him a little while to figure out that Cloud was not a low class alpha or beta, he himself was a low class omega and he didn’t get the usual omega feel from Cloud so he’d chalked it up to his own senses not noticing what the kid was. He wasn’t that interested in people’s classes as a whole and hadn’t exactly trained himself to recognise scents, he had far more important things to do.

Still, when he found out the kid was an omega he decided to keep an eye on him, just to make sure he was okay. Tifa and Vincent didn’t give him any trouble, though the former acted like a mother hen to him which must have been smothering at times. Cid was damn happy no one ever tried to coddle _him_ like that. Barret, he wasn’t too sure about at first but he deferred to Cloud in everything, treating him like a real leader so Cid wasn’t concerned. From what he could guess Yuffie and Aerith were betas so they wouldn’t do anything to hurt the boy.

They were in a small town when an incident happened. Everyone was off doing their own thing, taking a few minutes out of each other’s company. Cid was outside of the shops taking a few leisurely moments to himself when he heard a fight happening down the road. It was loud and ruined his perfect smoke break, so decided to go break it up and give them a few choice words. Rounding the corner he came upon Cloud fighting two men, about three times his size. Cid kept back from that mess and within minutes they were both laid out. From the looks of it at least one of them had a broken appendage, they were lucky Cloud hadn’t reached for his sword or they would be goners.

“Causing trouble everywhere you go, eh?” Cid commented, taking a drag from his cigarette.

Cloud turned his head to him then, stepping over the two groaning men on the ground, walked over to his side. “They caused the trouble, I just ended it.”

Cid breathed out smoke, being careful to angle it away from Cloud’s face. “That I don’t doubt. What did they do to make you fight back?”

There was a slight shift from his companion, he lowered his head and stared at the paving slabs as though they would tell him what to say. Honestly, this boy had an awful temper and could fight like a demon, but he was as awkward as a newly hatched chocobo.

“They implied some things that I was not happy about,” Cloud finally admitted, as though that were so hard.

“Ah, no surprise there.” Cid looked Cloud up and down. Yeah, he wasn’t surprised about anyone imply anything about him, what he _was_ surprised about was that they thought they’d have a chance with him, especially as he faintly smelled of two other alphas. The problem with sharing close quarters was scenting was bound to happen.

Cloud raised his eyes to his. “What do you mean?”

What did _he_ mean? “Look, kid, I’m not here to stroke your ego,” Cid huffed, “but anyone with eyes knows you’re somewhat attractive. I’m amazed you don’t get harassed more by smart mouthed alphas, not that I’d wish that on anyone.”

“I am?” Cloud frowned, rubbing at his neck for a few seconds before shaking his head. “Thank you for the warning.”

Warning? He didn’t think anything he’d said was a warning but if the kid wanted to see it that way then all the better. It was best he was on the lookout for any uppity alphas trying to get something from him.

“Just be careful, alright? I don’t want to have to get you out of jail for breaking the wrong alpha’s arm.” Which if Cloud was on alert for anyone trying anything could happen, given the state of that alpha groaning on the ground.

“I shall be.” Cloud nodded to him, heading down the road, apparently their conversation was over.

From the corner of his eye he saw Vincent keeping to the shadows, trailing after Cloud. He didn’t need a bodyguard but he definitely had a few of them around him. At least the kid was being looked after right. Cid took another drag from his cigarette; it was mostly burnt away now. He’d better get a new pack whilst in town, who knows when they’d get to another one.

-

Cloud held onto his head, trying to push the intrusive thoughts out. Trying to push _Sephiroth_ out of his mind. It didn’t work, no matter what he did Sephiroth was overpowering, his very presence trying to swamp Cloud’s.

“Now, now, Cloud, you don’t want to do that.” Sephiroth’s words were like a caress in his mind but at the same time a vice trying to squeeze the life out of him.

“Get out!” Cloud hissed, gritting his teeth.

“Why would I do that?” Sephiroth squeezed again before letting up slightly. “I would never abandon my mate like that.”

Mate?

Cloud breathed out harshly. Sephiroth was his mate? His mind went blank. He was the reason for his pain, for his lack of scent, for his bodies inability to act like a normal omega should. How he knew he used to act.

No.

That couldn’t be right. It hurt to even think of him as his mate, his mark screamed out in pain at him.

It was wrong.

“You know it’s true. You are mine, Cloud, you were made to me mine.” Sephiroth spoke gently, words lulling him into a daze. “You are my puppet.”

Cloud shook his head. No. He wasn’t a puppet or a plaything. A mate wouldn’t think that. His shoulder stabbed at him, no doubt raw and red. It burned.

“Come to me, my mate, my puppet.”

He wasn’t his. He wasn’t Sephiroth’s. No matter what he said it wasn’t true. But… he wanted it to be true, he wanted to know who’s mark he bore. He hated being broken, he hated not knowing who it was he gave himself to. Even if it was Sephiroth, maybe it was better than not being whole.

“Come to me.”

-

Cloud bowed his head in shame. He had been a fool. Everyone knew now how stupid he was, how broken he was. It had all been an illusion, his mind playing tricks on him again. He had forgotten everything, had _lost_ _everything_. His world, his mate, his place to belong. How could he have forgotten?

“Cloud?” Tifa stood to the side, watching him intently. Cloud didn’t move from his spot sat on the edge of a bed in the Highwind. “It’s okay Cloud.”

They had talked about what happened, about what was wrong with his mind. Everyone now knew what an idiot he was. It was embarrassing and it hurt worse than anything he’d ever felt. _How_ could it be _okay_?

“Okay?” Cloud asked. “What part is okay?”

Tifa knelt in front of him and stared up into his eyes kindly. “We’ll work through it together.”

Cloud shook his head; he didn’t want to be a burden any more than he already was. To think he’d lost himself twice, though the second time it wasn’t even really him. That he was played so easily, that he could be a toy for Sephiroth.

“I’m sorry, Tifa, some things I have to work through alone.” He needed time to think, to mourn.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “It must be hard, especially finding out who your mate is.”

Cloud placed a hand over his neck, closing his eyes. Yeah, that part was hard and hurt so much, more than any pain his irritated mark caused.

“I won’t tell them,” Tifa told him gently, “no one needs to know.”

That wasn’t a big thing to him. Cloud didn’t care about that really. So what if they knew? It didn’t change anything except maybe show how much of an awful person he was. “I don’t care if they know.”

“Really?” Tifa touched his knee gently. “Will you be okay fighting him?”

“Fighting him?” Cloud frowned at Tifa. He wasn’t fighting his mate. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we’re going to fight Sephiroth still.”

“Sephiroth!” Cloud pulled away from her in shock, eyes wide. “My mate isn’t Sephiroth.”

Tifa stared up at him, her face a picture of surprise until it settled on pity, which was exactly what Cloud did _not_ want right now. “He said he was though.”

“He can say what he likes, it isn’t true.” Cloud shook his head, moving further away from her on the bed. “Whatever lets him control me is probably like a mating bond to him. I can feel it trying to claim me but I’m not his mate.”

“Then… who is it? Do you know now?” Tifa sat down next to him instead of kneeling on the floor.

Cloud pressed his hand against his neck, feeling the pain from the inflamed mark, it was nothing in comparison to what he felt inside. “Zack,” he breathed out.

There was a sharp intake of air before Tifa placed a hand on his arm, so gentle and soft. Pity again. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Cloud got up, he needed to move, he needed to _do_ something.

“Zack was… he was a good man.”

Cloud turned to her, hands tightly clenched at his sides. “I know he was,” he told her firmly, “he was more than I deserved. He saved me and I repaid him by stealing his life.”

“Cloud, that wasn’t your fault.” Tifa got up, trying to hold him but Cloud walked away from her, heading to the door. “Cloud?”

“I just need to be alone. I need to think.” It didn’t help that he was feeling nauseous from the travelling.

“If you want to talk to anyone I’m here.”

Cloud paused at the door, not looking back at her but nodding sharply. “I know.” He opened the door and headed to the deck. It would take time, it felt too raw still. Everything was a freshly open wound in his mind, there was nothing that could help that. No amount of talking could heal his shattered mind.

“Zack,” he whispered, “what would _you_ do?”

Better not to think too much about that, it was a hole he didn’t think he was strong enough to pull himself out of.

Not again.

-

It had taken a few days before everything started to settle down, the Geostigma was washed away by Aerith’s healing rain and the WRO were working on getting help for those who needed it. Cloud wasn’t necessary but he had been aiding Reeve when asked, and avoiding Rufus when able. For the first time Cloud was able to sit and take stock of what had happened. It wasn’t a happy feeling really. He looked in the mirror, the stigma was gone from his arm and he could see the redness around his mating mark had lessened, the Jenova and S cells inside him had stopped attacking his bond for the first time in years.

He closed his eyes, tipping his head forward to rest against the glass. “Zack,” he said softly, “why couldn’t I stay with you?”

“Sorry, Cloudy, that wasn’t my call.”

White surrounded him but Cloud didn’t dare move, he didn’t want to break the connection, not again. “Zack,” he breathed out the name like a prayer, “is it really you?”

A warmth settled against his back, this time hugging him around the shoulders instead of a presence just a bit too far away from him. “Yeah, it’s me.”

What could he possibly say to Zack? To the man who he’d loved and lost in the most painful way possible. There was so much and nothing all at once. Whatever he said wouldn’t be good enough, it couldn’t possibly express what he needed it to. How thankful he was to have ever been with him, how sorry he was to forget him, how much he missed him.

“I want to be with you,” he said instead of any of that. Just a cold, hard, simple fact.

“Of course you do, who wouldn’t.” Zack gave a small laugh that fell flat. “We’ll be together eventually. Don’t waste your life wanting to die, that’s too sad. I’ll always be here.” There was a featherlight touch to his mating mark, a press of lips to a well-loved scar. “I’m with you.”

Cloud shook his head. “I’m so sorry, if it weren’t for me you would have lived. You would have been better than I was at stopping Sephiroth. If it were you Aerith would probably be alive still. I’m not good enough.”

“Hey now, don’t say that.” Zack sighed and the warmth encased him tighter. “I hate it when you talk down about my mate, you know that. What happened with Aerith was inevitable, she’s happy where she is, she’s helped so many people in ways she wouldn’t have been able to when she was alive. We’ve talked about it; she’s a chatterbox when you get her started. You should see how strong she is now, it’s incredible. She’s the one making sure I’m able to see you whenever I need to, like right now.”

“I want to see you again.” Cloud bit his lip, he didn’t dare look up, it’d all fall away if he did, a part of him just instinctively knew.

“You will eventually,” Zack repeated, “for now you’ll have to settle for my beautiful voice.”

Cloud took a deep breath. It would have to be good enough for now. Hearing his voice would never replace seeing him but he would probably never be able to do that again. This was more than most people with a broken bond would ever get. “Zack… I love you.”

“I love you, too.” There was a soothing sensation over his neck, he was sure if he dared to open his eyes he’d see the last of the redness gone from his mark. “I’ll always be here.”

“I know.” Cloud was grateful to Zack for loving him, for being his friend and mate. There was no one else he’d ever want to tie his soul to; it was impossible to even think there could have been someone else.

“You did good, Cloud.” Zack was probably wearing that roguish boyish smile of his. “I’m glad it was you who lived, I wouldn’t have been strong enough to go on without you. So, you had better continue to be strong and keep on going in my place. I’ll be waiting for you but it had better be a damn long wait. If I see you too soon I’ll get Aerith to send you right back here after I give you good long lecture.”

Cloud let out a huff of laughter, he could imagine that. “Okay, Zack.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could come back.”

“Me too, Cloudy, me too.” The warmth moved away, Cloud wanted to reach behind him and grab him back, he wanted to cry out at Zack to not leave him again. “It doesn’t work that way though. Not that I really understand which way it _does_ work.”

“Please, Zack, don’t leave me yet.”

“I told you, I’ll never leave you.” There was a press to his mating mark then the white light and warmth vanished leaving Cloud cold and alone again.

“Zack.” Opening his eyes Cloud saw the white scars on his skin exactly how they had been the day Nibelheim burnt, perfect and free of pain. The ache inside him didn’t stop though. Nothing could ever wash away the loss of Zack in his heart, it would be impossible to fill that gap, not that he ever would want to.

He pressed his fingers to the mark and let himself remember his mate, feeling a wrenching in his gut. He’d be with him eventually; he’d have to hold onto that hope for all of his life.

Maybe he should take up one of friends on their offers to talk to him about his problems.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it's obvious what was going on with Cloud's mating mark. In case it wasn't then basically I thought about the Jenova cells and the S cells trying to attack Cloud's bond, and claim him for their own, but because inside he can't let go of Zack the bond fights back, causing him pain and a constant inflammation. I don't know it that makes sense, I like the paradox of a broken bond but it still holding on because of Cloud taking Zack inside himself in a way. I probably just made it more confusing, sorry if I did.  
> If anyone thinks I need to add another tag to this please let me know, I always have trouble with knowing what tags fics need.  
> Thank you for reading! x


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